


What is this feeling???

by antisocial_headphones_kid



Series: Boyf_riends fics that do not follow on in any way [2]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst?, Bisexual Jeremy Heere, Fluff, GAYYYYYYYY, Gay Michael Mell, M/M, Minor Brooke Lohst/Chloe Valentine, Minor Jake Dillinger/Rich Goranski, Oblivious Jeremy Heere, Past Christine Canigula/Jeremy Heere, Pining, Rated teen for swearing, You get the idea, bla bla bla, confused feelings, understanding sexuality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:09:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22151575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antisocial_headphones_kid/pseuds/antisocial_headphones_kid
Summary: Jeremy hasn't been feeling... Normal to say the least. He keeps feeling strange when interacting with his best friend and he can't figure out why. Was it something he ate, is he ill or is he just painfully slow at figuring things out.(P.s. It's the last one.)Aka basically Jeremy is an oblivious dork who doesn't understand that he has a crush on Michael.
Relationships: Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell
Series: Boyf_riends fics that do not follow on in any way [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1594426
Kudos: 14





	What is this feeling???

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy this fic I literally just came up with and for once actually wrote it down.  
> There should be more chapters following this one but um dont necessarily expect them to be written anytime too soon.  
> Also the chapters are short but it feels sooooooooo much longer when writing them so that's why basically.
> 
> Ignore any spelling mistakes bc like ma bad
> 
> 1208 words
> 
> :)

I'm scared. No, not scared. Terrified? No, not that either. I think... I think I might be anxious? Nervous? Worried? Maybe a little fearful, but it's not like I'm afraid. Or maybe I am. I don't know it's hard to explain. I've tried to come up with a way to describe it but I'm at a blank. I don't think any words could ever even begin to explain how I'm feeling. But looks like I'm going to try. Wish me luck!

It all started about a month ago, I know it doesn't seem like long but it feels like it's be an eternity for me. You see, one day I was just dragging my feet into the hellhole the government calls a good education (or they would if they gave a damn about us), minding my own business. When all of a sudden I found myself unable to breathe. But the weird thing is it wasn't like in a bad way, and trust me I know what that feels like, I've had my fair share of panic attacks over the years. But no. It was different from normal, I wasn't gasping for air as the hallway spun round me; instead it was like the world had just stopped and the reason I couldn't breathe was because time was at a stand still too and therefore it wasn't necessary for me breathe. Does that make sense? I dont know, like I said it's hard to explain but either way it was weird. I shook it off though and carried on walking to my locker, to greet my best friend who I had seen was waiting for me there.

Maybe if I'd thought about it more then, I wouldn't be going through this now but what can I say, I really am just that good at procrastinating. Hahaha. Anyway... about a week or two ago something else happened: (I'll just go full flashback this time)

It was lunchtime, probably a Monday (they're always the worst of course). I was sitting with the SquipSquad, as Rich had deemed it (yeah he's not actually as cool as we all first thought). Michael was yet to arrive, probably bunked off to go smoke some weed or something. Who knows its Michael after all.

Ah speak of the devil.

"Hey Jer!"

"Hey Michael. How come your late?  
Bunking off again?" 

"Actually... Yeah. But I swear it was for a good reason!"

"And what would that be?"

"Well for starters math is shit," he grinned at me as he gestured for Chloe to move along a bit so he could squeeze in opposite me, "and secondly because of this!"

He sounded so genuinely happy and excited that I could feel a smile forming on my face before I even knew what he was talking about. But then he turned so I could see his arm better? I will admit I was confused at first, but then I realised what he was showing me. There was a brand new patch sewn onto, literally, the only item of clothing he ever seems to wear (then again who was I to judge). It really stood out against the red fabric surrounding it though. It was certainly the most vibrant patch he'd ever gotten.

"Wow Michael! That's so cool!"

The others voiced they're agreement and everyone was saying really meaningful and supportive things to Michael. Jake even handed Rich a 20 dollar bill. (I can't remember what they said exactly, I just remember being a bit confused, especially after seeing that exchange)

"I really like it Michael, it's so colourful and loud. Kinda like you! But I don't understand, why did you get it?" (Again as I said I'm a bit slow about these things). Everyone turned to stare at me when I questioned the patch. A mixture of amusement and confusion could be seen among the faces of my new friends. Rich even started laughing until Jenna told him to shut up. I didn't understand why this was such a big deal or anything but I was about to find out.

"Your kidding right?" I shook my head, Michael sighed. "It's the gay pride flag Jeremy."

"Why did you get that? Your not gay?" (Again oblivious, don't judge me)  
Michael rolled his eyes at that he was used to me being a bit slow with these things. He normally had to spell everything out to me, I don't understand why he didn't realise that this was going to be the same situation but oh well.

"I got it Jeremy. Because. I. Am. Gay." You could tell he was slightly nervous to say those words, I mean he has two moms and like all nearly all his friends are LGBT+ in some way but it's always hard coming out. Well that's what I assumed, I always see stories of people coming out to their parents and friends and most people have been petrified to hear the response. But I know how brave my best friend is, especially after the whole Squipcident (again, Rich) thing, and I know that Michael probably felt better after telling me and the others that he liked guys. And I am glad he told me and I fully support him of course. So I told him that.

"Oh. Well that's cool Michael, thanks for telling us- uh well me I suppose, them lot picked up on what the patch meant but anyway. I fully support you Michael, well I meanI'msureyouknewthatIjustwantedtosayitjustincaseyouwereworriedorsomethingandnowI'mramblingso I'll um.. stop."

Michael just smiled and rolled his eyes (which I swear were watering slightly! Michael denies this though) again before standing up and coming over to my side of the table to pull me into a tight hug.

We've hugged before, of course we have. We've been best friends for like over 12 years, why wouldn't we share a hug now and again. To be fair we do hug a lot but oh well screw the stereotypical gender roles that say men shouldn't show emotion, like what kind of bullshit is that! But anyway, this hug felt... different. Not bad different though. Just different. In the way that I'm sure it lasted longer than normal. In the way that I wanted it to last longer than normal. But I don't know why I did, I just did, maybe it was because I could feel my heart banging against my chest quicker and louder than ever before and I was sure it was because a panic attack was fighting it's way into me. When we finally parted, I noticed that Michael's cheeks were slightly brushed with pink but he was probably just hot or something. I definitely was, it felt like my face was on fire and my body was tingling from where he'd just being touching me. Maybe I was ill.

(End of flashback)

I really should have gotten that checked out, I think I was catching a fever or something, although I felt alright a while later. Huh strange.

So yeah maybe I'm actually a little worried for my health (now both emotionally and physically, so yay *eye roll*), something is definitely happening to me and I'm kind of worried it might be something serious, something that will stick with me forever

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked this fic so far :)
> 
> Have a good day friend <3


End file.
